Ranking Mario Kart Items

Mushroom

I think it makes perfect sense to start off with the Mushroom. The Mushroom gives a small speed boost that cancels the speed loss from going off-road. It's so incredibly simple, but opens up a lot of the game's depth (primarily via shortcut paths). This is the only item I'd actually consider calling "perfect" (even if I don't actually believe in such a thing); changing it in literally any way would do damage to the game as a whole.

(It can also be used to dodge Spiny Shells while in 1st place, which might seem bad... until you remember that you can't get Mushrooms in 1st place. So only a skilled player can pull this off, which I think is a good reward.)

Star

The Star makes you invincible for about 7 seconds, speeding you up and letting you drive through off-road without losing any speed. No notes, the players in the back need to be able to have some kind of counterplay to the projectiles from further up in the race. If I had to change anything, I'd revert the automatic driving forward property it got in Mario Kart World, but that really doesn't affect much of anything if I'm being realistic.

Fake Item Box

Fun fact: I made a 15 minute video on this item. I didn't cover every topic I wanted to about this item in that video, but the gist of it is that there needs to be some kind of item in 1st's item pool to prevent them from defending themselves against Red Shells, because if not... they'll be able to defend themselves against Red Shells forever with no punishment. The Fake Item Box not only fills this crucial role, but also gives 1st the ability to create a trap—not by tricking people into thinking the Fake Item Box is a real Item Box, but by blocking shortcuts. Since the Fake Item Box doesn't interact with Red Shells or Green Shells, the only way to get rid of a Fake Item Box is to either tank the hit or blow through it with invincibility. The former helps everyone except the person getting hit and the latter is forcing out an invincibility item for a Fake Item Box, so it's a really strong tool for 1st.

(It's natural to ask "if the Fake Item Box isn't meant to trick people, why is it a Fake Item Box?" The answer is that real Item Boxes also don't interact with Red Shells or Green Shells, whereas nearly everything else in the Mario universe does.)

Mega Mushroom

The Mega Mushroom makes you invincible for about 7 seconds, speeding you up and... hey, wait, this sounds familiar.

Yeah, so the Mega Mushroom is a weaker Star. This is actually a good thing, though—ever since Mario Kart Wii increased the player count from 8 to 12, it became necessary to add weaker versions of stronger items. That way, players that would've gotten the originals in 8-player races but can't in 12-player races can get the weaker versions instead.

The Mega Mushroom has had a couple of designs over the years. At first, it was a Star that wasn't invincible to everything (e.g. a player with a Star could damage a player with a Mega Mushroom); then, it could instead absorb one free hit from anything; now, it's a Star that doesn't leave the item slot when used. These, I think, are all fine. Like the Star, if I had to change anything, I'd revert the automatic acceleration, but that's still such a nothing change for it.

POW Block

The POW Block is a weaker Lightning. For reasons I went over in the Mega Mushroom section, this is a good thing, actually. It causes all racers ahead of the user to lose their items if they are on the ground (and causes racers to spin out if they don't perform an up trick input). The only change I'd make is to remove the extra spin-out mechanic if players fail the dodge; it wasn't really that important, and causing other players to lose their items is already punishing enough.

Super Horn

The Super Horn creates a large shockwave around you that can destroy any projectile, including the Spiny Shell. Defensive items prior to the introduction of the Super Horn usually involved having multiple projectile items or being invincible, so the Super Horn adds a different way to do defense that was much needed. The ability for it to destroy the Spiny Shell is balanced by it being so rare in 1st, though admittedly I wish it was a little more difficult to use a Super Horn to destroy a Spiny Shell. Either way, if you sit around in 1st holding a Super Horn waiting for a Spiny Shell, you will not be in 1st for much longer because of Red Shells, so it's fine.

There are some flaws with the Super Horn, such as not being able to be stolen by a Boo in Mario Kart World and being invisible until used in Mario Kart World, but both of these issues are done much worse by other items, so it's not the end of the world for the Super Horn. Fixing these issues would be nice, though.

Banana

The Banana will simply sit on the ground until something hits it. Slipping on a Banana is not too bad, but it's enough of a slowdown that generally you still want to avoid it. It's a pretty vital piece of the game plan of racers further ahead, which makes it extra heartbreaking that it no longer leaves the item slot when equipped to the back of the vehicle. Bananas are not powerful enough for that restriction on them to make sense.

Regardless, Bananas are incredibly important defensive items; make no mistake, they are well-designed with the one exception.

Coin

The Coin fills a similar role as the Fake Item Box, preventing 1st from being able to have consistent defensive options. The issue with the Coin is that there's very little depth to it, unlike the Fake Item Box. This only got compounded in Mario Kart World, where the default for most items is that they get hidden, so the Coin's ability to hide a more powerful option from Mario Kart 8 Deluxe is completely lost.

My fix would be to have both the Fake Item Box and the Coin in the same game together, which hasn't happened yet. Getting into why I think this is a bit too wordy for this project, but it would introduce more depth to the Coin by providing a tradeoff between guaranteed defense (since you can't get two Coin items at once) and higher speed (since having a higher coin count means going faster). Don't be fooled by people saying the Coin is bad, though—it's actually a well-designed item.

Green Shell

The Green Shell is a dumb projectile, bouncing off of walls until it hits something (or bounces too many times, in which case it breaks). Important for hitting racers around their defensive items as well as itself being a defensive item at times. The flaw with the Green Shell is the same as with the Banana; Green Shells are not powerful enough to be forced to stay in the item slot when equipped. Other than that, Green Shells are well-designed items.

Lightning

Lightning defines races. It strikes all of the players ahead, shrinking them and making them lose their items (unless they're invincible). It defines how races play out, and this is... y'know, the point of the item. Some people complain that Lightning is too powerful. It's not.

The problem in recent Mario Kart games is the ability for multiple to be in play at once. There's no good reason for that, considering the point of the item is, y'know, to change how the race plays out in an instant.

(Lightning also used to be able to hit racers behind the user as well, but I think I'm okay with the change made in Mario Kart World restricting it to only players ahead. It does make spamming it more appealing, rather than using it at the right moment, but also encourages using it to enable your second item, so overall I think it's a good thing.)

Red Shell

The Red Shell is a smart projectile, breaking instantly on anything but homing in on the racer ahead of you (if you throw it forwards, anyway). It's the typical offense item—extremely important, but with a couple of flaws. The easy one to fix is the exact same flaw the Banana and Green Shell have. It's less interesting to talk about each time I bring it up so let's move on.

The other flaw is that it's really, really difficult to get how smart it is right. In Mario Kart Wii, for example, Red Shells are pretty dumb, making them a little underpowered. On the other hand, in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe and Mario Kart World, they're definitely too smart, especially in the latter game where they can hit you from above (which is impossible to defend against, by the way). Very difficult to get the smarts of Red Shells just right.

(They're also a tad too common but who cares)

Spiny Shell

Let me make something very, very clear: Spiny Shells are well-designed. And necessary for the balance of the game. There needs to be some way to hit 1st without using Red Shells, especially since the game spamming Red Shells is the opposite of what anyone wants. The issue with Spiny Shells is twofold: they're too common and they're not avaialble to the right players.

Fortunately, the frequency of Spiny Shells in 12-player rooms in Mario Kart World seems about right, it's the 24-player rooms that have too many. If there are too many Spiny Shells, they become predictable, so then no one wants to be in 1st. You know, the win condition.

Additionally, Spiny Shells should be available from about 4th to 7th, since they're close enough to 1st for them to care about what happens to 1st; instead, they're usually available in the same positions that you normally get Stars or Golden Mushrooms. Yeah... no.

Triple Green Shells

As the name implies, yes, Triple Green Shells are three Green Shells. Since single Green Shells are so weak, having an item that's just three of them makes sense for higher positions, especially since it gives more chances to hit people with the Green Shells (as well as being more flexible between offense and defense). The flaw with Triple Green Shells is actually that they have a hitbox while orbiting the user, which causes some really nasty interactions with online connectivity (or when all of the racers are bunched up together). If they only interacted with other items until thrown, the problem would effectively be solved.

Triple Mushrooms

So just like how Triple Green Shells have a hitbox while orbiting the vehicle, Triple Mushrooms do too, but it causes a different problem (pair of problems, really): it becomes unclear whether it can defend you and it benefits the people around you unfairly. It boosts people that touch the Mushrooms; they can't steal the Mushroom, but it's a free boost for them with literally no downsides on their part. Also, they can't defend you, but because they orbit the vehicle like other defensive items... it becomes unclear.

Fix these flaws, though? It would be on the same level as the single Mushroom; it was one of the best designed items up until Mario Kart 8.

Triple Red Shells

The reasoning for the existence of Triple Red Shells is identical to that of Triple Green Shells. And it has the exact same flaw, too. Okay, well, there is one more thing: they're a little too common. Triple Red Shells should be pretty rare, since again, spamming Red Shells is a bad thing.

Bob-omb

The Bob-omb creates a big explosion that can destroy other items in its blast radius. It's a pretty powerful item in the higher placements, but it's also relatively rare which compensates for this. In Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, Bob-ombs were a bit too good, available to 1st (which is overpowered), and were a bit more common, but this was all toned back in Mario Kart World, so now the flaws of the item are, again, that it doesn't leave the item slot when equipped.

Buckle up, though, because there are going to be a few variants of this item later on that are not well-designed at all...

Bullet Bill

The Bullet Bill makes you invincible and will automatically drive through the course for you. If that seems really powerful... well, yeah, that's on purpose. It's only available to those pretty far behind, which is understandable.

Bullet Bills will continue to drive for you even on some long or perilous sections of the track, mostly to prevent you from immediately running into a worse situation, but some of these sections are a bit too long, which makes these so-called Bullet Bill extensions a little too overtuned. Also, Bullet Bills will now cancel the drifts of whoever they bump into, rather than just flipping them over, which is arguably worse since causing someone to be unable to turn in a kart racing game is often devastating. Despite all of this, they're needed for the game to work; without them, less skilled players are at a much larger disadvantage.

Triple Bananas

Same deal as the Triple Green Shells: Triple Bananas shouldn't have a hitbox when orbiting the vehicle, it causes problems in laggy conditions (of which there are many because Nintendo just... refuses to make servers for the game). Triple Bananas are also kinda awkward to fit into item distributions, but it can be done, so that's not really a flaw with the item in this case.

Feather

The Feather allows you to bounce into the air, which is useful for taking shortcuts and dodging items. It might seem weird to let 1st take shortcuts, but if they can't take shortcuts, it becomes impossible for them to extend their lead in any way; plus, the Feather allowing you to dodge items also incentivizes holding on to it until a Red Shell arrives rather than taking shortcuts at times, which I think is a good balance.

Ultimately, the item isn't super necessary for game balance, though, as there are plenty of shortcuts that 1st can do without a Feather, but having the Feather around is a net positive. It is a bit hard to use, but that's fair for an item 1st place can get.

Item Box

I'm sure you're probably a little confused here, but yes, the Item Box itself is also an item... in Mario Kart DS, only in Battle Mode, and only when playing multiplayer in Battle Mode. If you get eliminated early, you can drive around as a ghost and place real Item Boxes onto the arena. It's pretty silly, and should come back as something for eliminated players in Battle Mode to do, but it doesn't need to come back. It makes for excellent trivia, though!

? Block

The ? Block allows you to get a ton of coins, which can help you go faster. It also drops a bunch of coins on the ground behind you, which might seem like a flaw, but since the ? Block is available in higher positions, I think the free coins for other players is more justified (compared to something like Triple Mushrooms, which shouldn't have downsides like that). It's a really simple item that I think works well, but of course removing it doesn't make the game not work anymore.

Dash Food

One of the best parts of Dash Food is that the boost it provides scales based off of where you got the Dash Food (shorter closer to 1st, longer further away). Yeah, it allows for 1st to take shortcuts, but I already explained why that was important in the Feather section. It's also a much better unlocking system for characters in Mario Kart World than Kamek is, since it's not random. If character costumes return, I think Dash Food should too; otherwise the game's still fine without.

Chain Chomp

The Chain Chomp is like a Bullet Bill, but you aren't invincible. Seems like a strict downgrade, and yeah, it was. But remember the Mega Mushroom and POW Block from earlier? The Chain Chomp could work in the same game as the Bullet Bill if it didn't last very long and was obtainable further ahead, allowing for players who would've gotten a Bullet Bill in an 8-player room to still get something like a Bullet Bill in 12- or 24-player rooms.

Super Bell

The Super Bell is essentially just three sequential Super Horns, putting it into a similar category as Triple Green Shells or Triple Mushrooms. Unlike those items, you can't time each individual shockwave from the Super Bell, and unlike the Super Horn, it just repels items as opposed to breaking them. I think it could work as a more powerful Super Horn in lower positions, allowing racers further behind to have more defensive options than just invincibility or triple items (even if the Super Bell would itself be somewhat like a triple item... hmm). This is essentially the reverse of the Chain Chomp's situation, which is pretty interesting.

Banana Bunch

The Banana Bunch is like Triple Bananas, but with five Bananas instead of three. Triple Bananas is already hard enough to slot into an item distribution; having another item that's just "Banana but more" wouldn't help this. Besides, having five of any item is already hard enough to justify; three is usually sufficient.

Bowser Shell

The Bowser Shell is like a giant Green Shell in Mario Kart: Double Dash!!, whereas it's more like a giant Red Shell in Mario Kart Tour. Either way... there's just not a reason to give it out compared to Triple Shells or a Spiny Shell. Realistically, it wouldn't hit very many items anyway, and hitting more than three people with a single item is already getting into dicey territory (considering that's nearly half of the racers in the two games the Bowser Shell appears in!).

Fireball

The Fireball is like the Fire Flower, which I haven't talked about yet. Regardless, considering it's almost identical and the Fire Flower is far more well-known, there's no reason to keep the Fireball as its own item.

Giant Banana

The Giant Banana is like a giant Banana. Um... Yeah, that's a coherent thought. The Giant Banana splits into three regular Bananas when hit or slipped on, but at that point Triple Bananas are a far more flexible option (and if you want a giant hitbox to place on the ground, the Fake Item Box has you covered there; bonus points since the Fake Item Box can't be removed by sniping it).

Heart

The Heart is a defensive item similar to Triple Shells or the Super Horn, but unlike the Super Bell, isn't more powerful than either of them (actually, it's weaker in some cases). Considering the range of placements you can get Triple Shells overlaps with that of the Super Horn, introducing another item similar into the mix wouldn't be a good idea. Yeah, the Heart can steal items in Mario Kart: Double Dash!!, but I'm not so sure that's a good direction for the item (and it would seem Nintendo agrees on that point, considering it doesn't steal items in Mario Kart Tour).

Yoshi Egg

The Yoshi Egg is like a Red Shell, but it breaks apart into more items when it hits something. What kinds of items? Oh, y'know, just Mushrooms and Stars, things that can help the person you just hit. Why. Red Shells are far more consistent, there's nothing wrong with having a Red Shell.

Crazy Eight

The Crazy Eight is like the Lucky Seven, but with one additional item. I haven't talked about the Lucky Seven yet, but let's be real, the Crazy Eight really only works in Mario Kart 8 (and its port); in any other scenario, the Lucky Seven makes far more sense to be an item.

(Oh, the additional item? A Coin. Yeah, we wouldn't be missing much.)

Capsule

The Capsule is like the Fire Flower, but with pills instead of fireballs. Again, I haven't talked about the Fire Flower yet, but... hey, wait. Why did Nintendo even make this an item? Why did the doctor costumes for Mario Kart Tour need their own unique special item? It's literally just a Fire Flower reskin! What is happening?

Boo

The Boo is somewhat similar to the Star, providing invincibility and off-road immunity but not providing a speed boost; instead, they let you steal an item from a random racer ahead of you. In theory, this could be a way to keep higher-placing racers in check, since at any moment one of their important items could be stolen, but in practice it doesn't happen often enough to be a reliable way to do this and the person using the Boo very rarely wants the item they get by stealing. The game would be fine without it, but it's not hurting anyone being here.

Lucky Seven

The Lucky Seven gives you seven items to use. This sounds overpowered (because it is), but it's clear to me that at least for this item, it wasn't meant to be balanced. It's SUPER rare (same with the Crazy Eight), which I think balances out how strong of an item it is.

In Mario Kart 7, the Lucky Seven gives you a Banana, Green Shell, Red Shell, Mushroom, Star, Blooper, and Bob-omb; Mario Kart Tour swaps out the Star for a Super Horn. With the exception of the Blooper, these are all solid items in their own rights, though based on where the Blooper is on this list, if the Lucky Seven comes back, something needs to replace the Blooper in it. Oh yeah, and it still needs to be extremely rare. It is very powerful, after all.

Super Leaf

The Super Leaf is kinda like a manual Super Horn, where you can automatically swing the tail this item gives your vehicle to bat away items. It even has a fairly long duration (10 seconds) which makes it a really powerful defensive item, balanced primarily by its limited range and inflexibility. It doesn't leave the item slot until its duration is over, which I think is fair. It doesn't need to stick around since the Super Horn is better designed and fills the same role but I think the Super Leaf could make a case for itself in the middle placements.

Hammer

The Hammer has two distinct designs. In Mario Kart Tour, it was basically just an unblockable, limited-range Red Shell, which... no. In Mario Kart World, on the other hand, it's more like three temporary Bananas: you throw hammers that stick into the ground for a second with an active hitbox, then they disappear. This design is better, especially since the area it controls is larger than a Banana.

It's really hard to use this item defensively, though, which is the main weakness of this item, though I'm not so sure that's a bad thing. Either way, I'm fine if this returns or doesn't return. A purely offense-based variant of Triple Bananas is certainly interesting, after all.

Mushroom Cannon

The Mushroom Cannon fires ten Mushrooms in front of you. Now, based off of what I'm going to say later about the Dash Ring, this might seem like it would backfire pretty badly, but since they're fired right in front of the player, it's more difficult for other players to steal the Mushrooms, and if you do end up shooting Mushrooms directly into another player, that's more likely to make them mess up due to the sudden boost than anything else. For that matter, if you end up missing a lot of the Mushrooms, it's usually because you used the item at the wrong time, rather than the item just being poorly designed.

That said, it's still not well-designed, as opponents can still steal the Mushrooms (and ten Mushrooms is a lot), but it's not bad either. Plus, more Mushrooms is usually less extreme than something like ten Bob-ombs, for a random, definitely non-specific example. (That was sarcasm.)

Golden Mushroom

So the Golden Mushroom gives an infinite number of Mushroom boosts within a 7 second time limit, requiring you to press the item button for each boost. However, it's optimal to spam boosts during the Golden Mushroom's timer, not because it makes you go faster directly, but because it becomes more likely that one of the boosts happens as late as possible if the Golden Mushroom ends or is otherwise interrupted (such as by being stolen by a Boo). I probably shouldn't have to say that spamming the Golden Mushroom is not accessible...

The other issue is that there's no way to end the item early, which isn't a bad thing for something like a Super Horn or Super Leaf, since they're available closer to 1st, but is a bigger problem for something like the Golden Mushroom since oftentimes a better item is stuck behind it. Add on that newer players routinely struggle to use this item despite it being made for them to catch up and... yeah. But I don't think it should leave the series; not only is it iconic, but it also has a lot of room to grow and be better.

Thunder Cloud

I'm sure people are going to try to call me out for Mario Kart Wii bias, but that's not why this is here. The Thunder Cloud is a risk vs reward item. The reward is a large boost in speed while it's above your vehicle, including off-road immunity; the risk is that once its timer is up, it'll shrink you. You can pass it on to other players by bumping into them, or you can take the risk and see if it pans out.

Unfortunately for the Thunder Cloud, it activates itself automatically, which makes the risk vs reward thing fall apart. There's a distinct lack of player agency regarding the Thunder Cloud, and I maintain that if the Thunder Cloud had manual activation (like literally every other item in the series), it would work far better as a risk vs reward item, as the player could choose when to take the risk. Plus, as a bonus, it would still keep its jumpscare aspect as you could activate a Thunder Cloud right next to someone else!

Fire Flower

The Fire Flower has two distinct designs. In Mario Kart Tour, it was a spray of three fireballs in front of you, spinning out people they hit. In Mario Kart 7, Mario Kart 8, and Mario Kart World, however, it lets you throw 10 fireballs individually (8 in Mario Kart World), which is a strictly worse philosophy. Notably, it's not that bad in Mario Kart 7, as only three fireballs from a single Fire Flower could be in play at once, but starting in Mario Kart 8 it just became a wall of fire that was basically undogeable (and Mario Kart World did not fix that for some reason).

So uh... yeah. If it was like how it was in Mario Kart Tour, it would actually be a well-designed item, but no, we gotta have the item that lets you spam projectiles. It's lucky that the Fire Flower itself is an iconic power-up in the mainline Super Mario games.

Boomerang Flower

So it's pretty hard for me to follow what exactly the Boomerang Flower does in Mario Kart Tour, but fortunately we don't really need to worry about it there as in Mario Kart 8 and Mario Kart World, it has a much more ordinary design. You just throw a boomerang three times. In Mario Kart 8, it could leave the item slot, making it occasionally immune to Lightning, but thankfully that was changed in Mario Kart World.

Of course, it still has problems. It's encouraged to spam the item, for one, which would already be bad enough, but it also pierces through defensive items (except for things like Bob-ombs, Super Horns, and stuff that makes you invincible). Top it off with an extra long throw at the end...

Suffice to say, it's not good. I'd remove its ability to pierce and make its range smaller; that would be a huge improvement and also give players a way to get rid of it quickly without spamming it at other people and causing chaos.

Ice Flower

The Ice Flower is really similar to the Fire Flower, though instead of spinning people out, the iceballs will instead cause them to slide forward with low traction (except apparently I just learned it works exactly like a Fire Flower in Mario Kart World so oops). It's maybe a little too powerful on turns, since as I mentioned with the Bullet Bill, preventing people from turning in a kart racing game is certainly a decision. However, I think with a little bit of nerfing, the Ice Flower could be a good, well-designed item, especially since, like the Fire Flower, it's a pretty well-known power-up from the main Super Mario series.

...Wait. Both the Fire Flower and the Ice Flower have had two designs over the years, but they've never acted differently from one another in any of the games they appear in together? Seriously, Nintendo? Just pick one design for the Fire Flower and use the other design for the Ice Flower! Why do they work the exact same in every game they appear in? Just make the Fire Flower use the spray-type design and make the Ice Flower shoot individual iceballs! This isn't hard!

Coin Shell

The main benefit of the Coin Shell is that it travels down the middle of the road, allowing you to hit people driving there. As a bonus, it also drops a bunch of coins. The downside is that not only do good players not drive in the middle of the road, you also get the Coin Shell in far too low of a position for it to be helpful. The placements you get a Coin Shell ordinarily give out Mega Mushrooms, Stars, and Triple Mushrooms, not offense items. It's in a similar boat to the Spiny Shell, where Nintendo tried to do something to make an offensive item work that low but it didn't pan out, except the Spiny Shell at least also has the important distinction of being a way to keep 1st in check. The Coin Shell doesn't.

All that being said, though, I think the Coin Shell would be nice to keep around if available in higher positions, as it could be a more common alternative to the Spiny Shell where it blasts through everything in its way (with the tradeoff being it doesn't blow up 1st), and unlike the Bowser Shell, it's of a reasonable size as well.

Piranha Plant

The Piranha Plant attaches to the front of your vehicle and bites at things nearby, usually other racers but sometimes items as well. It gives a small but not insignificant speed boost when doing so, and unlike the Golden Mushroom, you don't need to spam the item button with it, you can just hold the item button down.

Unfortunately, it's not balanced. Even if you gave it a warning for other nearby players (the way that Stars and Bullet Bills do), you'd still have to deal with the Piranha Plant's blind spots, the biggest one being from behind—you know, the place where you're most vulnerable since you have the least amount of time to react (since even highly skilled players look forward most of the time, and only backwards in small bursts).

Banana Barrels

The Banana Barrels shoot 16 Bananas onto the track right in front of you, which, more often than not, is actively detrimental to the person using them. Also, there's 16 of them! Forget five Bananas with the Banana Bunch, this is just plain ridiculous. Come on, Nintendo.

Bob-omb Cannon

You know what's worse than 16 Bananas? TEN BOB-OMBS! The Bob-omb Cannon is not balanced at all! Honestly, enough said, I think the quantity of Bob-ombs alone speaks for why this thing is all the way down here.

Bubble

The Bubble is an awkward mix between the Bullet Bill and Mega Mushroom, but doesn't do either of them properly. For starters, you actually go slower in the Bubble than you do normally driving, which is just terrible. It pops after just one hit, you can't do tricks off of ramps, you can't use other items, it's just awful. I can't justify making it a weaker Bullet Bill option for middle-placement drivers because like... the Chain Chomp would do that better, too. I guess there's a reason why the only characters who have the Bubble as their special item in Mario Kart Tour are low-ranked ones...

(Wait, what do you mean there are rare, high-ranked Mii costumes with the Bubble as their special item?)

Dash Ring

On paper, the Dash Ring should be a good item, allowing you to chain boosts across a large stretch of the course. In practice, not only is it outclassed by the Golden Mushroom and Triple Mushrooms, but other people can also use the boosts, making the boosts overall weaker for the person using the Dash Ring, especially since the other racers don't need to use their own items to use your Dash Ring for themselves...

It technically has potential as an item only obtainable in team races (that way, you can assist your teammates with it), but that's such a small niche that I'm not even sure it's worth it at that point.

Double Bob-ombs

Admittedly, compared to the Bob-omb Cannon, an item that's only two Bob-ombs seems really tame by comparison. One thing to remember, though, is just how powerful single Bob-ombs are; their explosions can often cover the entire width of the road on some courses, and they can destroy most projectiles as well. So getting two is overkill in the higher positions. In the lower positions, on the other hand? You don't really want Bob-ombs, you want Mushrooms.

Admittedly, this item is less bad than the others in this category, but that doesn't make it not bad. I guess you could make a case for it in Battle Mode, since it's generally easier to dodge Bob-ombs in Battle Mode compared to in races, but the problem is that the Bob-omb Blast battle mode already exists (and there's even already a way to get multiple Bob-ombs at once in that mode, too).

Giga Bob-omb

The Giga Bob-omb is a giant Bob-omb that can only be thrown forwards. This seems like a good idea, since it's available to racers further behind, but again, if you're back there, you want something that can make you faster, rather than something to make the people around you slower. Also, the Giga Bob-omb has an actual fuse, which means if you hold it for too long, it'll blow you up instead.

(Technically, you can use this property of the Giga Bob-omb to adjust how far it travels, since it bounces along the ground for the duration of its fuse, but still... you'd rather have Triple Mushrooms.)

Blooper

I'll cut to the chase here on this one: if I was forced to rank all of the items individually, this would be in last place, no questions asked. The only reason this item exists is that the Nintendo DS had two screens, so the ink blocking the top screen would encourage you to look at the bottom screen.

So then why did they bring it back for Mario Kart Wii?

The biggest issue with the Blooper is that it disproportionately affects newer and inexperienced players compared to veteran players. Despite still being a skill-based game, Mario Kart does afford more chances to those that are less experienced... except with the Blooper. Either the new players are in the back, not getting hit by it (so the item is useless), or they're in the front, affected by it way more than usual (so the item is a noob-stomper). No matter which way you slice it, it's badly designed.

Kamek

I'm going to, for now, ignore the fact that it cancels your drift when it hits you, and instead zero in on the main issue: it's used to unlock new characters in Mario Kart World. Based exclusively on randomness. And it turned a previously playable character, Kamek, into an item, literally the opposite of what people wanted. That alone is enough to fail this item.

But let's go back to that "canceling your drift" thing. I've already explained it with the Bullet Bill, but yeah, this is still a bad decision. One of the most vital parts of Mario Kart is the ability to, y'know, move around the track, and drifting is not an advanced technique, either. It's honestly impressive that, after going 20 years with only one item that actively harms the series, Nintendo got to Mario Kart World and decided to add a second one. You'd think they would've learned...